This coming August, Malaysia will celebrate her 50 years of Merdeka. 50 years of independence. We have come a long way since then. From the Japanese occupation to the British colonialization. And of course, the May 13, 1969 race riots incident which has been drilled into the heads of every students studying History since young.

Malaysia.

How I have a love-hate relationship with thee.

I hate that I have to bribe in order to pass my driving test.
I hate that some of our politicians act like a bunch of kids, talking without thinking and passing derogatory remarks.
I hate that my parents are paying taxes but how come potholes are still everywhere.
I hate our Tidak Apa attitude.
I hate that year in year out, stories of straight As students being denied scholarship or places in local universities in their subject of choice still make headlines.
I hate how the politicians kept saying "If you're not happy, then leave" thus sending most of the best brains in the country away.
I hate their thinking that by refusing to discuss social and political problems, the problem will automatically go away.
I hate why we're so forgiving on Sammy Bulu even after all those screw ups.
I hate how unsafe Malaysia has become.
I hate how we keep promoting the many races living in Malaysia in tourism promotion, when frankly, places like Britain and France are truly a melting pot of cultural differences.
I hate it when I say I'm from Malaysia, people will automatically relate ONLY Petronas Twin Tower and Truly Asia about me.
I hate the fact we spent so much money to send astronauts into space only for them to make roti canai and teh tarik in zero gravity.
I hate HSBC Malaysia for charging me the minimum payment on an outstanding debit of 45 cents (I saw the number wrongly, thus paying less) when I have been paying my bills on time.
I hate how stupid and mocking the LRT self service machines look sitting there and not functioning most of the time.

But nevertheless, I love thee with all my heart because this is the place I grow up in. My family, my friends, my childhood, my happy moments, my sad moments all belong to you. Working abroad for these past 2 years has made me realised your beauty despite your shortcomings.

And truth to be told, I'm secretly proud when people break into the Malaysia, Truly Asia jingle whenever I said I'm from Malaysia.

Of course, I still moan about you sometimes (ok, more than sometimes) but you know I have reached a new level of patriotism when I corrected someone yesterday that I'm not Chinese Malaysian, just Malaysian will do, thank you very much.

The next time I fill up form, I will make sure I put Malaysia under the Bangsa section (And risk watching the clerk processing the form looking at me like some idiot).

And while I'm still feeling particularly patriotic today (don't know why, miss home too much kut), I shall post up a series of Petronas ads commemorating our 50 years of Independence before my laziness takes over my patriotism.